12.16.2007

Thinking, resting, searching

Its Sunday evening. All is quiet here. Today I got such the feeling of being an ordinary family. I'm sure this sounds a bit odd but it hit me around 11am after we had slept in and the kids where jumping on our bed, I got to watch Sunday Morning with a cup of coffee and the paper while the kids played. I then just picked up the house and planned a day of shopping and seeing a movie with my girls. No running to my studio in the back of my mind. This to me is probably what normal families do. There are many times I feel "un-ordinary" and weather this is good thing or not I'm lost in that thought a lot. When I really sit down and contemplate what I mean by this its my own insecurities of being a good mother, wife and friend while trying to satisfy this need for my own ambitions. Time and time again I can hear Linda Christensen say to me that she worked soooo hard to receive a very prestigious grant that when she finally got the money she just felt remorse". At the time I didn't really understand what she was trying to tell me but this year especially I think I finally do understand.
I think with rest does come some deep thoughts. I know I'm not the only one running through life so fast that I forgot to sit back and contemplate things. I am going to do that in the next few weeks. I feel good about somethings I accomplished this year but always fall back on weather I'm being more of a business person or creative person. Is selling more important or making more important? Do I make things for customers or for my peers? I'm at a real turning point with the building of this new kiln. Lots of new things to really think about. On my Christmas list this year I told my sister-in-law to get me a new sketch book. Mine is very beat up and I have a need for some clean crisp pages for ideas. I use my sketch book for very quick ideas and notes from workshops. My resolution this year is to carry it with me more places so I am forced to jot down all my thoughts while I sit in car pool lines and such.
I am excited for a new year in my studio. We may even try and get a home improvement loan so we can build and garage-studio for me! I need time away from producing. More time for the kids,games, thoughts, my husband and me. I like the using the word " decompressing" and "searching" because those are feeling that kept poking me in the back of my head today.

3 comments:

PainterP said...

I was commenting not on this post in particular but just to a shared love of pottery. I wanted to relay an article on a couple that share their love of art and each other that I think you would appreciate:

click here

JUDI TAVILL said...

jen...TOTALLY!
I sat in my car for 1 1/2 hours tonight while my son was at his very important play rehaersal(that's another conversation) I called a friend I owed a call to, I read Blink and this other developing creativity book that's cool but not directly what we do and then I just started sketching(on a notepad and a pencil i found from my kids in the back of the car... and I had more clarity of direction than I've had in ages... we need chill time but sometimes we just need PEACE!

Scott Smith said...

I bet you spend a lot more time with your kids than others who work traditional jobs.

As a pottery hobbyist I don't really have the worries of art vs business, but I can certainly appreciate the need for peace.

I don't really like the sound of "pottery hobbyist," is there another name for what it is that I do with pottery? Junior potter? Potter-in-training? Potter apprentice? Hack? LOL.