12.28.2008

Cleaning The Piles In My Head

I have piles of junk in my head that through out the year I open up a closet and shove them inside. This week while Christmas was winding down I have realised that I need to clean everything up in there before I get started again. I can lay down and close my eyes and visualize the cobwebs, words, broken promises, sketches, ideas and emotions that are lying around in there or sticking out of the many doors that surrounds this room in my head. The whole year I just shove all this away to survive and keep going. Sometimes I take care of these things for a brief period of time but for the most part since about July of this year I think I've just maintained what's been lurking around in there and every now and then I'll jump inside this room and say "just hold on, once I get a break I promise I'll deal with all of this stuff!"



Slowly this week I'm hoping a little person that looks a lot like the cartoon version of Carol Burnett will come and help me clean out my head. Most of these piles consist of family and personal stuff. They are labeled with half hearted attempts at things, guilt, yells,words,promises and lectures to all my family members. The poor cats even had a bad case of flies this year that I put off. Boy where they pissed at me after several shots of antibiotics to fix the mess I could of solved with a few drops of Resolution.

Some days I see myself as several differant female sit-com characters such as Debra Messing on Wil and Grace,Lucille Ball, Old Kristeen and Debra Romana, others days I'm the comedy routine that Bill Cosby does on raising kids. I was even reading David Sedaris the other day and thinking to myself that I could be a gay man stuck in a female body! Every incident that happens in our household seems ridiculous at the time and extremely stressful but I can turn it into a comedy routine. Some moments really should not be made funny and taken very seriously but these are the items that get shoved away upstairs until a later date so one can cope.

Confrontations, missed moments, sour words, stressful days, feeling overwhelmed and over worked and words...all those words get piled up in that room in my head and are in need of lots of cleaning before I go back to work. Wish me luck that my little friend here can help me out before 2009 comes along!

3 comments:

Jason and Jeannie said...

Jen, I like this. I have plenty of piles that I've been dragging around for a while. Sometimes I think it gets neglected as I try to clean up the physical piles of stuff everywhere.

My daughters loved the wall pillow/tiles, by the way. Thanks for getting those to me. Now I just need to hang them up....
-Jeannie Ward

Sister Creek Potter said...

Jen, I am trying to figure out HOW you are going to do all that cleaning. I sure have stuff I need to weed out, too. Wonder if there is a good exercise to exorcise this trash? Good luck and Happy New Year! Gay

www.jeffmartinceramics.blogspot.com said...

great blog, i couldn't say no to the title..