The dialogue in my head before a show....
I was thinking last week about how before every show I have the same dialogue that goes through my head every time. Basically the same scenario's play out and I can either cry or chuckle about it. Thank goodness this time around I had my two pottery partner in crime Amy Sanders and Julie Wiggins on the "pottery hotline" when I was a bit overwhelmed. Lets hear it for friends and support!
This month I'm in a show at Lark and Key called "Memory and Metaphor" along with two very fine painters. This show has been in the works for aleast a year but as is true with other sales, gallery orders and shows; I'm always working up to the last minute.
Today I thought I'd jot down thoughts/words that have been circling in my head all week. These play out over and over before every show. Shows to me are different than sales because if I don't have work for a sale than its only me I'm letting down. If I don't have good work for a show, well its many folks I'm letting down and this weighs so heavy on my head.
For those of you studio Mom's and Dad's out there, you may be shaking you head while reading my thoughts. I'm even pretty sure that some of you without kids could relate to some of these thoughts!
So, from the time it starts to the opening reception, this is the dialogue in my head....
~New ideas...boy, I'd love to have a show! Hey, can I have a show? I've got some really cool ideas?!
~ Sure, that a good time of the year, I'll have time to make stuff. No obligation what so ever...
~(Glance at calendar) "Ah, a few month before my show, got to finish orders first -I'll have time to try some new forms before than".
Month before the show -
~ Time to start some new work for my show...but first, I've got to do the 15 loads of laundry.
~ "Mom, I've got a huge project due this week"! No studio today, must help the kid....
~ I need to grade papers for my art history students. Maybe I can get in there for 2 hours today..
~ Ah, studio time. Got to start with the big pieces first...humm, but what big pieces?
~ Two kids sick - I need to be inside, no studio today...crap, things are going to dry out!!
~ Ok, a few big things made. Will folks want to see new things or some more of what they are collecting? Better make a few small things.
~ Should mugs go in a show? Nahhh...not this time, I have time to make other things..
~ 9:30 Pm, lunches packed, cloths laid out, dishes done cloths in dryer. Whoops...guinea pig cage needs cleaning! Hummm....can I get anything done in my studio this evening??
~9:45PM where to start... Guess I'll make some small things.
~ 11:00 PM, need to sleep, I'll have time tomorrow after teaching to finish these up.
~ Run kids to various after school activities, go to the gym, help with homework, fix dinner, get kids to bed at *8:00. Run out the studio.........."Crap, they are to dry for handles!"
Week before show -
~ Oh god, please don't rain outside so everything will dry out in my studio and be ok in the bisque!
~ Lord, I should have made those mugs....kick myself!
~ "SICK?? Your not sick, you've got to go to school today...I've got to work!"
~ Guess I'll stay up until 12 tonight so I can finish just a few small things.
~ Calendar says...2 doctors appointments, snack Mom, make quiz for two classes, go shopping for special shoes for dance class, meet with teacher about failed test grade....." AHHH...all this is during my free studio time! When am I going to finish my pots?"
Days before the opening -
~ Glaze until midnight, turn up kiln at 2:00, turn up kiln at 5:00 ( good lord I'm tired!) Get up with kids at 6:00, run everyone to school." Maybe I can take a nap for 1 hour and go back to glazing".
~ Why do I put myself through this? I should have been nurse!
~ This is crazy! What other profession takes away sleep time like this one!
~ No honey, you can't go out of town this week!
~ Grind teeth during sleep worrying about my firing.....
~ Feeling tired and short with the kids.
~ Don't worry, no one will see me in the carpool line with my PJ's on. I just wear a baseball cap and sunglasses to hide the circles today!
~ Must find quick things to make for dinner so I can work a bit more before dinnertime.
~ ( Open kiln) " Oh lord, please let these look OK"!!
Day before work needs to be delivered -
~ Well this looks OK....
~ Why oh why do the big things never all turn out~! I hate porcelain! I'm switching everything to stoneware!
~Ok, I think this is enough work. Is it enough work??
~ It is what it is, price it, pack it and hope for the best.
~Panic attack before delivery...
Show goes up/Opening -
~ Honey, can I call in sick for my opening?
~ Should the kids come? Yep...they need to see the outcome of Mom's crazyness...
~ Nothing to wear..maybe I should just go in the throwing cloths so people can see the sweat and tears I've put into this...HUH!
~ Will anyone come at all??
~ Maybe I'll have a few glasses of wine before I go, that always dulls the pain of meeting and talking to folks!
~Ahhh...familiar faces, the show looks nice. What was I worried about anyways?
~ Look Honey, it went find after all.
( and my husband sighs....)