
I was out taking one of my power walks this evening; one of the best ways I know to clear my head, get some energy, enlighten the endorphins and just breath. The headphones go on to drown out all the noise in the world but seeing what the rest of the world is up to while my brain is focused on my own little world is comforting.
Some of us use our blogs to share information, some of of us use it to purge our thoughts and of course I've talked about this before going back and forth with what I myself use this forum for. The moment passes by once the thought enters my head and I switch gears to something else and the thoughts and words that I want to get down are lost. Many times when I walk. I'm writing in my head. Some days this even happens while I'm throwing on my wheel and I think to myself how great it would be if I had one of those little hand-held tape recorders you to see detectives use in spy films. So in my mind, my blog has been going on. I just haven't shared it with anyone. But tonight, this evening after everyone is fast asleep and I have finished up some mugs, I decided to sit down and share.
Last time I left off with my blog I talked alittle bit about giving up writing for other more important things - like my family. Slowly, every since last year, 2010, I've had little person in the house that needed a lot of attention and some "Fixing" I guess we could say. I've often talked about all my reading issues as a kid and this year, after watching one of daughters slowly melt down while attending a new school we found out that she too has some pretty complicated learning issues and was really in need of more of my attention. I'll say it once again, I have learned so much about myself from my children and this experience has paralleled my own experiences at her age. The one who tends to push my buttons the most turns out to be the most like me and everything in my world has just flip flopped. Priorities that use to be high on my list are at the bottom.
I ended up taking both our girls out of school and decided to home school them for the remainder of the school year. I felt like I owed my twins a little "re-wind" so to speak for all the times I had left at night to teach a class or relied on Dad to take care of things. Dads are great but sometimes, if there is a Mom in the picture...kids just need Mom. When I started to just have the girls with me 247 at home, I saw myself at that age and what I had gone through and just decided to slow down with studio work and enjoy "fixing" my little person who has just needed someone to understand why her brain doesn't work like the rest of her classmates, siblings and friends.I've gone through so many phases of how to deal with being Dyslexic and having ADHD all my life. All the feelings of being dumb as a kid, which my daughter is going through at the moment, insecurity through out High School, to trying to explain my special needs in college to professors and even laughing it off when boyfriends or friends teased me about my spelling and disorganization. I recently read a great article by Trudi Styler ( Stings wife) about living with ADHD and how hard it is on adult relationships. I've joined an organization for Dyslexics in which I get publication via the web with all sorts of information that I never knew before. Now that I am raising a child who reminds me of all the struggles, tutors and tests I endured as a child, it brings up so many feelings. All a mother wants to do is protect her young. A mother will drop everything to "Fix" her child that is hurting. Back in my head the anger of years of my own struggles and insecurities about succeeding just come to the surface ever time I try to teach my 8 year old how to write, spell the simplest of words, and make her feel good about herself. I get angry now sometimes at people who don't understand what it like to have dyslexia and I realise my child will go through the same teasing as I did and still do. People don't understand that most children with dylexsia and ADHD have very high IQ in the gifted range. They understand that they don't learn like everyone else and its frustrating.
Like myself, this child of ours can draw and create and sing like none of our other children can. She'll be fine, with extra help and will have to work as hard as I do to get ahead. My work ethic does not come from a strong moral background. It comes from years of being told I could not do something and this experience as a parent of a child with the same struggles as myself, has been my "Ah-ha" moment. (As Oprah would say.)
Shows, orders and huge blocks of time have come and gone this year in my studio. The blog and the website have cobwebs.At the moment all the rushing to keep up doesn't matter as much to me. All I want to do is "Fix" my little mini-me and help her feel better about herself and when I start seeing some confidence and acceptance for who she is and how she'll have to work that much harder than the other children, than I'll feel Ok. At that time, whenever that is, I'll get back to me and really pushing my clay career.
On a side note, our kids will all be back attending the private school they went to before this year and Joey and I will go back to trying to figure out how to pay for it. Nothing is more important these days than having your kids get a good education and being in a safe and supportive enviroment. I've taken on yet another teaching job at this school, along with my other two. I'll be working with the 3 and 4 year old in the pre-school program teaching art. I'm looking forward to teaching the little folks in the morning and than rushing over to teach my 20 year old at Winthrop in the afternoon. Once again, we sacrifice for our kids. Teaching at the kids school helps with tuition and also will be a great way for my little girls to see me and for my "mini-me" to feel secure knowing I'm around the corner 2 days a week.
Joey and I also put our house on the market to move closer to our kids school. I'm happy to report our house sold in one week and now we are feverishly looking for a house, over the boarder in North Carolina that also has a studio space for me. I think I deserve to get off the back porch and have my own building to work in. If we can swing North Carolina taxes, I will finally be a North Carolina potter, which has more opportunities than being a South Carolina potter.
So, that's where I have been. The struggles and my own "ah-ha" moment this year. I am still making pots but instead of rushing around to try and make deadlines, I'm rushing to go take a walk with the girls, or help with reading and writing or just being there one on one to listen to worries, joys and fears from some very deserving little people that mean the world to me.Here's a little Coldplay for your enjoyment. I love this video because its just the lyrics...which of course I think are great. Enjoy!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pY9b6jgbNyc



( Silly me but I always appreciate the bottom of other potters mugs. Yes..go ahead laugh at that comment! I struggle with keeping crud off the bottom of my pots so I admire this!)
1. I was a cocktail waitress all through college. When I got my first job at a college bar I really
2. I once was held up at gun point! For anyone who has ever worked at the bar, you know you don't get home until the wee hours of the morning. When I graduated from Design School I was working two jobs. During the day I worked at a retail store and on the weekends, I kept my cock tailing job. Some weekend I'd get home from the bar at 3am and have to go to work at 9am the next morning. One night when I came home from working at 3am, while going up the stairs to my apartment I found a guy standing in front of me with his arms raised saying "Don't shoot!" and one of my neighbors holding a rifle pointed straight at the two of us. In my head all I was thinking was " Oh man...I've got to get to bed because I have to get to work tomorrow and now I've got to deal with this?!!" Soooooo...I calmly, with my arms raised said to my very agitated neighbor.."Hey...can you put the gun down?" He yelled back at me that this man was trying to break in to his apartment and he was going to " Blow his ---------------head off!" I once again thinking to myself " God....I've got to get to bed!!", calmly said "Just put the gun down so I can get on by and I'll go call 911 for you.....Ok?" After a few back and fourths, he finally waved me by with the gun and I went into my apartment, called 911 and went to bed and happily made it to my day job the next morning.
6. I love Donuts. I love donuts so much I don't allow myself to get in 50 feet of a donut shop! As all brides do, I starved myself before my wedding and once Joey and I left for the honeymoon, my first food purchase was a donut. After my birth ordeal with Quaid, I made Joey go out and buy me donuts. ( See I couldn't even put a photo of real donuts on here because I love them so much!)








This is the 
This blue home is the McCorkle/Moore home. Its is directly behind our home and whoever lives here does NOT like my kids exploring her backyard. Very few folks are like this in our town but there is always one person....My kids ran home this summer saying out of the blue someone had put KEEP OUT in the way backyard so I said " Well, you better stay away from that yard than". The neat thing about this house is that our home was a wedding present to Mr. Moore's daughter back in 1902. Of course our house doesn't look at all like this one but we are only the 4th owner of our home and that's pretty neat considering its over 100 years old!



This quotes pops in and out of my head on a non-stop basis. It haunts me really, which I know is a funny thing to say. I first heard it from a design professor I had back at Virginia Commonwealth University. At that time I was in school for commercial interior design and Mies van der Rohe was his favorite architect of all time. 
Out in my studio on my own..... thinking thoughts about my work and looking and looking some more.......












I got the invitation to the upcoming Kiln Opening at Cedar Creek where I'll be demoing the second weekend of October. I'm excited to be on the other end of things for a kiln opening. When I worked at
On the bad side...yes, you know some days it just has to be put out there...my car got hit this week in what I refer to as the most ridiculous car pool line I have ever been involved in. ( Which of course, this has only really been my third...)! Lets just say the start of our new school year and new school has been a bumpy one and I have not been the parent that sits on the sidelines to see how it all comes out. Things this tend to consume me when I'm not happy with someone, I feel the need to get it resolves and fast. When I don't see anyone standing up to fix anything, I'm the first there to say " well some one's got to say something". So having voiced my thoughts about the car pool situation and traffic on a number of occasions and getting no real response from anyone...having my car hit was not when of my better moments.

