3.18.2007

Up close


THIS PHOTO*

Some of you wanted to see how the box turned out that I put on the blog when it was leather hard so here is a close up of it. I loved it when it turned out but of course now I'm critiquing it.......the judgment and jury never stops in my head especially after seeing so many wonderful pots at NCECA. I took a lot of photo's of great pots with my regular camera because I wanted some more slides to show my classes when I teach so now I regret I don't have any of those photo's to talk about on my blog.

THE CONFERENCE*

As for the conference, I really didn't get to sit in on to many lectures and I'm not sure I missed much...but I'm sure I could of pick up some information of use. I did sit in on " Being a potter and a parent", which I of course loved. The beginning of the lecture was a sculpture who talked about coming to NCECA 4 years ago with her baby and sitting at the back of a lecture hall in tears because people kept turning around and looking at her every time her child made a noise. I totally could appreciate this feeling and when she spoke of this I almost felt sorry for all those successful women potters who don't have what we have. ( Not that those where the people giving the dirty looks). But for so long I've felt envious of these women and I'm sure on days when I don't see my pot in a magazine or I'm still not getting into big shows I'll feel this way again. But nothing was better than knowing when I got home I had three little people so excited to see me and that they are my biggest fans! One of my epiphanies was that maybe I will never make spectacular pots. Maybe its just not in me and I shouldn't beat myself up for not being able to get to that point. Maybe its ok to make marginal pots that sell, not to everyone but some people and maybe its ok that I'm a mom trying to do this just because it was what I choose in school and I love and it will pay some bills, cloths my children, give me another reason to get up in the morning and that is OK. You know, you can set your goals up so high that maybe they can't be reached and its not that you see the glass half empty, its just that you see it for how it is and do the best you can. I just don't see beating my ego up anymore and this trip, seeing all the shows and great work didn't work me up into a frenzy about my pots as it has in the past. No comparing my work to others, just enjoying what I saw and knowing I'm going to come home, keep working, keep entering shows and plugging along at the slow pace I do trying not to kill myself mentally for what I have no accomplished yet.

Boy...this is deep!

( Who am I kidding...I'll always want to be Lucy Rei!)....I wonder if she had kids?

1 comment:

Ron said...

Hey Jen,
You know I didn't come away all frazzled and beating myself up either which is a big change for me. I did see some things that inspired me and made me want to push certain things a little further. But I feel happy where I am and know that I am in the right place for now. So I think that's good growth for both of us.